Stories of A Lifetime
Life lessons from the older generations
It’s surreal to look back and think about how one seemingly small decision can set your life on a completely new trajectory and introduce you to people you otherwise never would’ve met, or take you places you never would’ve imagined. Back in the summer of 2019 I had a newfound passion for creating video and was looking for an outlet to gain experience. So one day in August I had the idea to host video interviews for seniors living in retirement homes, a video autobiography of sorts. I jumped on the computer and pulled up the website of a nearby senior living community and filled out their contact form saying I would like to volunteer. By some luck the senior living community actually reached back out to me and invited me in to tell them more about my plans to volunteer. This is how I met Bernard Evans.
80 Years Young
When I met Bernard he was in his late 70s, an older African American man with short gray hair and a gray goatee to match. He walked tall and always carried a welcoming smile, but what you really noticed about Bernard were his sharp outfits. Always dressed to the nine, most days it was some variation of a colorful button up shirt paired with a nice tie and a well fitted sweater vest along with corduroy pants and polished shoes that were a staple in his wardrobe; and don’t forget the circular glasses you’d expect to find on anyone over 70.
Bernard was the Activities Coordinator at the senior living community and I could tell right away he had a real passion for his job and helping people. I mean he could have been relaxing in retirement at his age but he still chose to work because he truly cared for the residents of the community. Which is why he was so excited about my idea to do video interviews with the residents, he saw how the program could really benefit residents.
Attitude Is Contagious
Bernard’s optimism and willingness to help others was contagious, everytime I talked with him I left feeling more energetic and optimistic. That was the first lesson I learned, your attitude will affect others, so be intentional and work to spread positivity. In a place like a retirement home where energy and optimism is low Bernard was light that brightened the days of all those around him. It’s not an easy thing to do, and in fact in my own life I’ve found that I have to actively work to be more positive because it doesn’t always come naturally. What I’ve learned though is that just like working out the body if you workout the mind and train positivity it becomes easier and easier. And when you spread that positivity to others they will then spread it to those around them.
What you give is what you get
Bernard and I quickly became friends as he took me under his wing. He began introducing me to residents and helped me get the program started. He went above and beyond for me and his residents. He organized a time for me to give a presentation to over 30 residents to share the program and invite them to do video interviews with me. He helped me organize a sign up sheet and schedule times for interviews, and even set me up in a fancy conference room to do the interviews. Bernard went out of his way to help me, and it was clear after getting to know him that he did this for everyone. Bernard always had a meeting or a phone call or a lunch date with a friend to catch up, because he cared and was always willing to help. He gave himself purpose in helping others and you could tell it made him a better and happier person. Focus on helping others before helping yourself because when you provide value to others good things will return to you as a result, one way or another.
Believe in something
Bernard was a man of God, he did not push his beliefs on anyone but you could tell they were a foundation of his character. He believed in integrity, being honest and speaking your mind even when it wasn’t easy. As our friendship developed he told me stories of his early life and I was amazed by the recounts of his activism during times of segregation and his fight for equality. Even when it meant losing his job he didn’t back down from what he believed in. Be a person of integrity and strong character, be true to yourself and your beliefs even when it’s difficult.
Learn from those around you and carry on their work
When Bernard told me stories of his childhood it was clear how important family was to him and how much he valued the many role models he had in his life. One story in particular stands out to me as having a big impact on Bernard’s life and his work, the story of Bernard’s Uncle, William Evans. Bernard was proud to share with me that in 1939 his Uncle, William Evans, participated in one of the first sit-ins in American history; in Alexandria Virginia. On August 21, 1939 William Evans along with four other young African American men entered the Alexandria Library (presently called Barrett Branch Library), and asked to register for a library card. When denied library cards the men calmly sat in silence at five different tables and refused to leave. The library staff called the police and all five men were arrested for disorderly conduct. The case drew strong media attention but ultimately their goal of desegregating the library failed. Instead, a separate all black library was built. Those stories must have stuck with Bernard, because he carried on the fight for equality. He led picket strikes to desegregate the youth center in Alexandria, he organized rent strikes to protest housing discrimination, and much more I’m sure I never got the chance to hear about.
Bernard passed away June 23, 2022 at 79 years old, but he touched many lives. All of whom have undoubtedly been able to learn so much from him, including myself. His work and his lessons will carry on in many ways. Bernard’s encouragement and excitement about providing video interviews for senior citizens has led me to the path I’m on today and I’ve created Stories of a Lifetime to do just that, to continue connecting with the older generation through video interviews.
